Holidays stink! Or…they can make you think! They are LOADED with feelings. When typing “holidays” I felt like throwing cast iron skillets to a painful sad squeeze in my heart to a feeling of wow, what a friggin’ year!
After thinking how I wanted to start this holiday, I decided to hell with it, I’m starting with the feeling of WOW! I am thriving in life! I chose to appreciate when things were a real drag, I was adventuring, I was alone, life was mundane and I was lucky to be filming & photographing on projects which boosted my creative passions. :)
I look around for good feelings to match my enthusiasm, I know they are there… but the world makes the volume of sarcasm & pain rock concert loud! Sometimes I feel split between acknowledging legit pain, heartbreak, and regret and… that warm feeling down to my toes that I am in a good space in my life. I’ve had sweet adventures this year. I’ve grown so much!
If I mope and complain, I feel for a few minutes I am “in” the crowd. If I pull my face away and say life is great, few people chime in. It leaves me feeling confused and alone. I do get it though. As I write, I think about emotional pain, strife (understatement), survival needs, and health crises you might be in. Feel a great big hug coming atcha as you read this. Life can be real rough, sad, frustrating, unfair, full of huge problems with few good options. My heart breaks for things going on in the world that I won’t pretend to have answers to.
I have handled family cancer, hospice and death, existed barely from paycheck to paycheck, been on food stamps, been abused, lived in the crappiest of freezing ass trailer homes, had multiple jobs, and have been at the dirt bottom of the barrel many times emotionally where pushing up daisies sounded better than putting on my boots and figuring out that next step. When life sucks, I get negative too… AND I decided to own that so I can be the healing my soul needs to thrive. I have walked so many steps in pain, struggle, and heartbreak and had to clean up consequences of bad choices. You can see where my stitches were, scars are, and where I need more fabric to cover gaps in my life.
When the world drains the spark outa me, nature recharges me. Mmmhmmm...natural healing soul energy! I don’t have to pick through or make sense of the vibe. I sit and feel, allowing my heart to be free, open, and appreciate. My daughter took this picture of me at Blue Lake in Colorado. Everything was as vibrantly colored as you could imagine. Behind us was a small herd of frolicking mountain goats. Moments like these feel magical. In feeling peace my soul has a place to speak, motivate, and comfort me. I allow appreciation to open and soften my heart.
Appreciation feels like a warm swell of happiness that takes over my heart, makes it feel bigger and that I am alright & capable of doing what I set my mind to. It keeps me open to possibilities in life, valuing myself, sharing the positive, and giving & receiving love.
If you’ve been sinking in negative junk and cynical chit-chat, maybe you have forgotten the way to feeling good. I suggest answering the call of the beautiful child in you that is yearning to feel better. Holidays can bring up the old, dark stuff in our heart and emotional closets. That stuff is asking to move out to make room for better feelings, more possibilities and love.
Maybe…just maybe, with a big ol' smile on your face (yup, I just felt it creep across your face), try defining holiday seasons differently. It sounds trite and I feel very small suggesting turning yourself toward nature and appreciation because… no, it won’t solve hunger, violence, cure cancer, or the big problems in the world. However, starting with the one person that can make a difference wherever your feet will take you today IS huge. Appreciation of YOU is the start of an incredible miracle of the heart. And boy oh boy, our world needs YOUR good heart right now.
From my soul to yours, find time in nature (be smart & safe) to sit in appreciation of what you can see, feel or experience around you. Before all the preparation, crazy relative drama ;), good food, football games, and great sales, make time to appreciate the treasures that are only in your heart and soul. Treasures that were in you when you were born and ones that you have grown in yourself living your life. Bring this appreciation feeling to your life and the people with whom you create life.
Happy Thanksgiving with blessings. Good thoughts to people that are reading this outside of the U.S., this holiday means a lot to us here :) thanks for obliging me!
P.S. Social media has really linked so many of us around the world. Thanks a million for reading my posts, sharing, liking, re-posting it on Facebook, leaving encouraging comments on my website or sending private thoughtful notes. Please continue to share, comment and be inspired. It helps grow my artistic voice. ~Mary
Blog by Mary Riitano...
I'm a Montana actress on a journey sharing my heart and growth through blogging, stories, and poetry, I have faith you'll find empowerment and inspiration to create like a champion in your own life!
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